High School, Maturing, and Other Stuffs

So, I have officially graduated from middle school (or junior high school, if you like.)


Alright, I was very enthusiastic then. I got a really good mark on my national exam and I wasn’t a student anymore by June 13, while awaiting applying dates for high school. And since I got a really good mark, I pretty much am sure where I’m heading to.

Tip: It’s obviously one of the best school in town. Unlike many other countries where all public schools are equally good (or bad, depends on how you see it, blah blah), it doesn’t really go that well in here. Some schools are favored and some aren’t.

But, back to the topic. 

My choice of high school was widely scrutinized by many people even prior to the national exam, as I know where I was heading to and it wasn’t really a popular choice. It was only popular after people got their marks.

Seriously. Those people who scrutinized me now tried to throw me over to the best school. Hello, remember when you were the one who wanted to go there?

But, anyway. I can understand them. I mean, the scores really dropped since 2013. Another anyway, I do have good reasons on why I chose this particular school.

One, the social studies (humanities?) major is better. Yes, people, yes, Indonesia have majors on their high school. No, you only can choose one and you’re given these all subjects that you like and you don’t like. Lately however the new curriculum has given us the choice to take other majors’ classes, but it depends on the school if you can choose on your own or let them choose it for you.

Two, I don’t like being drilled. No, really. I love studying, I love learning, I love school. But being drilled until your head is nothing but physics formulas isn’t exactly my favorite scene.

Alright, perhaps I only got two reasons. But I suppose it’s enough.

But then… you see my first reason. Social studies.

What the f**k am I supposed to do with a social studies major in high school?

People here believe that social studies is for less intelligent people and science is for the geniuses. Thus, people want their children to go to science instead. Besides, science pupils tend to be given invitations to uni at any majors while social studies (and language, but not a lot of school has the major anymore) pupils usually only can get invitation at humanities majors.


I have been in the place where my friends all got really fed up with me talking about wanting to go to social studies and played the “science kids can go anywhere for uni!” card.

(But I’ve stumbled upon an article that said that is no longer the fact, so, goodbye darlings.)

So I defended myself as I’ve known what I want to do, and if you’re playing that card, that means you’ve got no effin’ idea what do you want to be in the future.

That shuts them up.

That’s also where we’re gonna start. (500 words and you haven’t started? Gee, Dyah.)

I’ve said that I know what I want to do for college, and I do! Sort of. I’ve minimized my choices to Law, Psychology, Communication, and Literature.

But I have no idea what do I really want to do with either degree.

What I see myself in the future is being an actress, a tv presenter, or a writer, and I don’t think any four of them (except Literature for being a writer) really correspond to my dreams.

But then again, I’m only 15, and my mind changes as fast as Katy Perry changes her hair color.

But then again, I’m about to go to high school, and I have to choose between two majors, and the best chance if I’m confused is to go to science.

Hell naw. I won’t be calculating the speed of a falling 2mm raindrop.

This is really demanding, you know, because on one side, people would say ‘Meh you’re young, you still have a lot of years to think about it’, but on another, you really do have to choose if you don’t want your future to be f**ked up.

And I don’t think it’s fair, really. How are we supposed to choose something in high school, and being demanded for our dream, when the dream itself still fluctuate, still changing?

I mean, today I might want to be an actress. Tomorrow? A president, perhaps.

See? It’s confusing!

What older people demand from their youth is really annoying. We can’t make our minds up yet, can we? Of course, exception goes to really brilliant children, but they’re scarce. Mostly we dodge thinking about the future because it’s. freaking. tiring.

And confusing.

No, really.

The point of this post is just me being fed up with being told to choose what I want to be seriously.

How am I supposed to know? How are we supposed to know? Even you elders became fed up with your nine to five job.



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